there isn't much in this world, or his own, that can take the legendary devil hunter dante down. for years demons have tried and tried and tried to catch him off guard, tried to take him down a peg or two, hatched plans to somehow get rid of him so they can fulfil whatever devilish plan is the flavour of the day. for years they have tried and for years they have failed. hell, even dante himself tried to end things more than once when he was at his lowest but nothing ever worked. wounds healed as quickly as he got them, his liver would repair itself before the alcohol had time to really hit it, his lungs would reform as smoke and carbon dioxide filled them.
but those three words? those three words coming from vash's mouth? it does more than any demon or destructive tendency could have done in the past twenty years.
he feel his chest tighten and his lung seize, breath caught painfully in his throat. how many times has he ever heard those words? how many times has someone he cared about, someone he truly cared about spoken then? one? two? he can still remember eva telling him that she loved him right before the flames took her, he can still the smile on nell's face. everyone who loved him has died, every single person and most of those he has ever dared to love himself have met a similar fate. it's why he's never told the girls how he felt about them, why they have never told him how they feel about them─ sure, they may not need the words to properly convey their feelings to one another but the point still stands.
it's why he sometimes feels panic welling up in his throat when he tells the kid or vergil that he loves them.
it's why... ]
Vash─
[ the words catch in his throat, fighting to break free from the ropes that bind them. the years of terrible instincts trying their hardest to drag them back down into the depths of his soul. don't speak them, keep silent, no one needs to know, you'll be safer that way, you won't lose another one if you just stay fucking quiet─
he can't, he fucking can't.
blue eyes shine with hot tears that streak down his face, dante doesn't even notice them as he looks at vash and just tries. to do something, to say something, to make sure that vash understands him even if he struggles to get the words out. ]
Vash─
[ you almost lost him, you know? what if it happens again? what if he falls asleep and he never wakes up? what if he leaves like so many others have done so before? vanished into thin air as if they never existed in the city in the first place? can you handle that, dante? can you handle that loss knowing you had the chance to tell him, to tell them both, exactly how much you love them? and you do love them, just as much as you love your brother, just as much as you loved nell and eva. they are everything.
everything. ]
Fuck, I'm─ [ no good at this, terrible at this, it feels like his lungs are going to cave in on themselves with how short and sharp he breathes. he feels like he might just pass the fuck out right there and then. ]
I hate you sometimes. [ it's said with a shaky laugh, eyes shining as more tears come unbidden. ] Because you're able to hit me right where it hurts without fail. Every god damn time.
[ dante shifts a little, his own hands sliding from vash to hold onto either side of the plant's face. ]
I... I love you too. [ the words come out quiet, quieter than anything dante has ever said before in his life, and his voice trembles. ] I love you and Nick so much it scares me.
(cw: mentions of suicidal intentions.)
there isn't much in this world, or his own, that can take the legendary devil hunter dante down. for years demons have tried and tried and tried to catch him off guard, tried to take him down a peg or two, hatched plans to somehow get rid of him so they can fulfil whatever devilish plan is the flavour of the day. for years they have tried and for years they have failed. hell, even dante himself tried to end things more than once when he was at his lowest but nothing ever worked. wounds healed as quickly as he got them, his liver would repair itself before the alcohol had time to really hit it, his lungs would reform as smoke and carbon dioxide filled them.
but those three words? those three words coming from vash's mouth? it does more than any demon or destructive tendency could have done in the past twenty years.
he feel his chest tighten and his lung seize, breath caught painfully in his throat. how many times has he ever heard those words? how many times has someone he cared about, someone he truly cared about spoken then? one? two? he can still remember eva telling him that she loved him right before the flames took her, he can still the smile on nell's face. everyone who loved him has died, every single person and most of those he has ever dared to love himself have met a similar fate. it's why he's never told the girls how he felt about them, why they have never told him how they feel about them─ sure, they may not need the words to properly convey their feelings to one another but the point still stands.
it's why he sometimes feels panic welling up in his throat when he tells the kid or vergil that he loves them.
it's why... ]
Vash─
[ the words catch in his throat, fighting to break free from the ropes that bind them. the years of terrible instincts trying their hardest to drag them back down into the depths of his soul. don't speak them, keep silent, no one needs to know, you'll be safer that way, you won't lose another one if you just stay fucking quiet─
he can't, he fucking can't.
blue eyes shine with hot tears that streak down his face, dante doesn't even notice them as he looks at vash and just tries. to do something, to say something, to make sure that vash understands him even if he struggles to get the words out. ]
Vash─
[ you almost lost him, you know? what if it happens again? what if he falls asleep and he never wakes up? what if he leaves like so many others have done so before? vanished into thin air as if they never existed in the city in the first place? can you handle that, dante? can you handle that loss knowing you had the chance to tell him, to tell them both, exactly how much you love them? and you do love them, just as much as you love your brother, just as much as you loved nell and eva. they are everything.
everything. ]
Fuck, I'm─ [ no good at this, terrible at this, it feels like his lungs are going to cave in on themselves with how short and sharp he breathes. he feels like he might just pass the fuck out right there and then. ]
I hate you sometimes. [ it's said with a shaky laugh, eyes shining as more tears come unbidden. ] Because you're able to hit me right where it hurts without fail. Every god damn time.
[ dante shifts a little, his own hands sliding from vash to hold onto either side of the plant's face. ]
I... I love you too. [ the words come out quiet, quieter than anything dante has ever said before in his life, and his voice trembles. ] I love you and Nick so much it scares me.