[Zulius will just pull out a nail file as Dante keeps coughing, filing his fingernails. It's okay, he can wait. Once Dante finds words again, he looks up.]
What were you expecting? Enquiring minds need to know. It's me. I'm the enquiring mind.
[He takes in this new information with a lazy smirk.]
I see~ You've definitely got the rugged thing going for you and actual people skills too! I have decided I'm not gonna rescind my hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Lucky YOU.
[So now BOTH of you have been legitimately hit on by the zebrataur. Do with this knowledge what you will, Dante.]
Pleased to meet you, too. I'm Zulius, entertainment mogul, fashion icon, gossip monger, you know how it is.
[ is he lucky? honestly asking here. he feels like he owes vergil an apology. ]
You know flattery will get you almost everywhere. [ zulius please, his ego is large enough on a good day you don't need to feed it any further. ] Vergil's always been like that, you'll get used to it after a while.
[ this is where dante moves to vergil's desk and sits down, immediately committing the cardinal sin of 'no shoes on the desk' as he leans back in the chair. ]
I honestly though he was joking, you know? Or that someone was messing with him. Didn't actually expect there to be a half-human, half-zebra guy running around the city. No offense.
[He definitely does. Zulius lets out a little laugh, waggling his eyebrows.]
Oh, I know, it gets you so many places. [He heaves out a sad little sigh.] Yeah, I got that vibe. Is he like... allergic to fun? I think he might be allergic to fun.
[GASP - breaking the RULES. At least Zulius doesn't seem to mind, but he does make a mental note of the shoes on the desk for potential gossip/blackmail later down the line. ]
Yeah, well, a month ago I wouldn't have expected it either. [He gestures to his stripey zebra legs.] This is a whole new thang. I used to be human.
[ honestly, when was the last time he ever saw vergil have fun? ignoring the times when they are trying to violently rip each other to pieces - dante can recognize that isn't a normal person's definition of "fun". ]
He's always been that stuffy I'm afraid, I think it's worse here though. I think he grew up the son of some rich snobs.
[ you're gonna need something worse than putting his feet up on the desk to blackmail him with zulius, but nice try. ]
That... can't have been fun. [ frankly, dante prefers having two legs over four... ] You look like you've adjusted to it pretty alright though?
[Zulius lets out a soft ah in the back of his throat, putting a hand to his chest.]
I'm the son of rich snobs and I know how to have a good time. NOOOOPE, I think he's just got a serious fun deficit. He needs to learn to let his hair down a little.
[Though he's getting the impression Vergil would rather eat glass than let his hair down.]
Not being able to fit into like...60% of my wardrobe was a deep cut, no lie. [How do you even fit into Daisy Dukes when you've got a fat zebra ass now :<] But eh, my options were to make it work or like...have a complete breakdown and never leave my apartment again. I'm stuck with this either way, and I'm way too pretty to sequester myself from society so I went with option one. Besides, stripes go with everything.
[ all this slander and the man himself is nowhere to be seen, dante can't help but wonder if he can feel his ears burning where ever he is right now. surely he knows that someone, specifically dante, is talking shit about him, right? ]
You know I've been saying the same thing to him recently, guy needs to get laid but the very thought seems to set him off.
[ the only other option is to fight, but... well... that is a little harder than you might think. ]
Sure they do. [ look, dante's fashion sense is whatever he feels like wearing at the time so he can't talk. ] Well, I can say I'm glad you didn't have a complete breakdown and hide away forever. If you had done that it would left me bereft of the joy of watching my dearest brother have the closet thing to a meltdown I've ever seen.
[Zulius would HOPE Vergil's ears are burning. Maybe it can extricate him from his apartment and make him look for who's talking shit! ]
RIGHT?! Trust me, I tried my level best in that area, but he was nooot interested. Shame, I could have taken him for the ride of his life.
[Because obviously, Vergil missed out on not choosing to sleep with an actual centaur. Obviously. At Dante's comment, he laughs, doing a theatrical little bow. ]
You're super welcome. I'm always here to provide a little extra entertainment for the people of Kaisou! I'm sure I got about a billion other ways to get him flustered yet. He's the most awkward man alive.
[ god, he is very glad he wasn't drinking again because that? that would have likely ended his entire life. ]
Alright, let's skip the details of what you could have done for my brother.
[ he doesn't particularly need to picture his twin getting fucked by a half-zebra man, thank you very much. he's going to shift his focus so damn hard right now. ]
Please, I'm all for getting the guy flustered. It's hilarious.
[ this guy, honestly. despite the unpleasant imagery dante isn't able to stop the laughter that bubbles up, head shaking as he watches zulius through a half veil of shaggy hair ─ he really should get it cut some time, or at least trimmed. ]
Yeah, yeah, I did and I stand by the fact he guy needs to get laid.
[ he just has a feeling that zulius is most definitely not his type, not that he can confidently claim to know vergil's type. he has to have one, right? after all if he didn't then nero certainly wouldn't be around and he knows that nero's birth wasn't something pre-planned remembering his brother's reaction. ]
[As much as Zulius can appreciate the scruffy look, please, Dante, at least introduce a comb to your hair a little bit. He lets out a soft snort.]
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he'd self-combust before he made a move on anyone.
[Vergil's type is a mystery to everyone, honestly. It doesn't stop Zulius from hitting on him. Mostly because it's funny watching the man twisting himself up in knots trying to deal with it. It's like a sport.]
A little. But mostly I wanted to see what was in this little shop he likes so much. Colour me curious, y'know? Maybe I was even gonna get myself a lil' something. As a peace offering.
dante shifts, feet falling from the desk as he moves to stand up and walk around to the front of the desk and leans against it. ]
Better question is what isn't in this shop of his. [ weapons, art pieces, it is antique? vergil probably has it. ] My dear brother has an interest in antique items and weapons. So, if you want a shiny dagger to display at your place you've come to the right store.
[ nah, he's good. he'll just run his hand through it to get rid of the knots. ]
Actually, [ dante pushes off the desk to move around to the back of it again, he leans down opening one of the draws before pulling out a necklace adorned with amethysts. ] How do you feel about necklaces?
The necklace really does catch his eye, though. Be still his beating drag queen heart! He stares at it, stary-eyed. ]
Oooooooooooooooh, I have a lot of feelings about necklaces. That one's pretty. Just the right amount of glam, too. I have exactly the right outfit that can do with that, too. The exact one.
dante grins having clearly hit the nail right on the head, he motions for zulius to come closer with a jerk of his head and places the necklace down on the desk. ]
[ it is only because it's dante that he can get away with this. and honestly? this guy gave dante quite the laugh, he doesn't seem that bad in the slightest. ]
So long as you promise to come every so often. Having you around might do my brother some good.
[He's so rich, whatever price tag Vergil had deemed to put on the lovely thing, he could pay it without breaking a sweat. But then Dante explains why it's a gift and a laugh bubbles out of him.]
I mean, I was planning on doing that regardless. I actually like your brother's company even if he's like...the grumpiest gumpus that ever grumped. [Maybe it's BECAUSE Vergil is so grouchy that he likes spending time with him. Who knows. Zulius is a creature of deep, unfathomable mystery. ] Buuuuut I'm not gonna say no to a nice bribe.
[ laughter bubbles past dante's lips as he shakes his head, unable to resist giving zulius an incredulous look. it's strange to hear someone other than himself say he likes vergil's company, that someone other than himself wants to spend time around the grumpiest grumps to ever grump. he feels something ugly rear its head in the back of his mind, something jealous and possessive, and he takes a deep breath in pushing it back down. ]
Glad to hear it, really. He's never really been the kind of guy to go out and make friends, so having someone around that'll actually force him into social situations is good. I can't be doing all the heavy lifting on my own. [ vergil will forgive him for the necklace eventually, he is sure. ] I just like treating my friends.
[At least Zulius is someone who can drag Vergil kicking and screaming into socialising, no need to be jelly, Dante. You can still punch the hell out of your bro bro any time.]
Oh man, I have noticed. Don't you worry, I'm gonna make him have so much time outside this building. [He gestures at the space they're in.] I've already scored like, one whole date with him, pretty sure I can convince him of some more.
[And aww, Dante, that's actually...kind of sweet, his smile softens, just a tad.]
[ this is news to him, news that vergil conveniently left out when he was informing his dear brother of his encounter with the zebra man. he's almost mad, almost, settling on something in between disbelief and surprise. ]
I don't know what sorcery you used but keep on doing it, he needs to get out more often.
[ dante then settles back down on the chair at the desk, leaning back looking as proud as a cat who just caught a bird. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
What were you expecting? Enquiring minds need to know. It's me. I'm the enquiring mind.
[He takes in this new information with a lazy smirk.]
I see~ You've definitely got the rugged thing going for you and actual people skills too! I have decided I'm not gonna rescind my hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Lucky YOU.
[So now BOTH of you have been legitimately hit on by the zebrataur. Do with this knowledge what you will, Dante.]
Pleased to meet you, too. I'm Zulius, entertainment mogul, fashion icon, gossip monger, you know how it is.
no subject
You know flattery will get you almost everywhere. [ zulius please, his ego is large enough on a good day you don't need to feed it any further. ] Vergil's always been like that, you'll get used to it after a while.
[ this is where dante moves to vergil's desk and sits down, immediately committing the cardinal sin of 'no shoes on the desk' as he leans back in the chair. ]
I honestly though he was joking, you know? Or that someone was messing with him. Didn't actually expect there to be a half-human, half-zebra guy running around the city. No offense.
no subject
Oh, I know, it gets you so many places. [He heaves out a sad little sigh.] Yeah, I got that vibe. Is he like... allergic to fun? I think he might be allergic to fun.
[GASP - breaking the RULES. At least Zulius doesn't seem to mind, but he does make a mental note of the shoes on the desk for potential gossip/blackmail later down the line. ]
Yeah, well, a month ago I wouldn't have expected it either. [He gestures to his stripey zebra legs.] This is a whole new thang. I used to be human.
no subject
[ honestly, when was the last time he ever saw vergil have fun? ignoring the times when they are trying to violently rip each other to pieces - dante can recognize that isn't a normal person's definition of "fun". ]
He's always been that stuffy I'm afraid, I think it's worse here though. I think he grew up the son of some rich snobs.
[ you're gonna need something worse than putting his feet up on the desk to blackmail him with zulius, but nice try. ]
That... can't have been fun. [ frankly, dante prefers having two legs over four... ] You look like you've adjusted to it pretty alright though?
no subject
I'm the son of rich snobs and I know how to have a good time. NOOOOPE, I think he's just got a serious fun deficit. He needs to learn to let his hair down a little.
[Though he's getting the impression Vergil would rather eat glass than let his hair down.]
Not being able to fit into like...60% of my wardrobe was a deep cut, no lie. [How do you even fit into Daisy Dukes when you've got a fat zebra ass now :<] But eh, my options were to make it work or like...have a complete breakdown and never leave my apartment again. I'm stuck with this either way, and I'm way too pretty to sequester myself from society so I went with option one. Besides, stripes go with everything.
no subject
You know I've been saying the same thing to him recently, guy needs to get laid but the very thought seems to set him off.
[ the only other option is to fight, but... well... that is a little harder than you might think. ]
Sure they do. [ look, dante's fashion sense is whatever he feels like wearing at the time so he can't talk. ] Well, I can say I'm glad you didn't have a complete breakdown and hide away forever. If you had done that it would left me bereft of the joy of watching my dearest brother have the closet thing to a meltdown I've ever seen.
no subject
RIGHT?! Trust me, I tried my level best in that area, but he was nooot interested. Shame, I could have taken him for the ride of his life.
[Because obviously, Vergil missed out on not choosing to sleep with an actual centaur. Obviously. At Dante's comment, he laughs, doing a theatrical little bow. ]
You're super welcome. I'm always here to provide a little extra entertainment for the people of Kaisou! I'm sure I got about a billion other ways to get him flustered yet. He's the most awkward man alive.
no subject
Alright, let's skip the details of what you could have done for my brother.
[ he doesn't particularly need to picture his twin getting fucked by a half-zebra man, thank you very much. he's going to shift his focus so damn hard right now. ]
Please, I'm all for getting the guy flustered. It's hilarious.
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You brought it uuuuup~
[Sorry not sorry, Dante.]
Don't you worry, making him want to throw himself out of a window is gonna be one of my new hobbies. It's SO much fun.
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Yeah, yeah, I did and I stand by the fact he guy needs to get laid.
[ he just has a feeling that zulius is most definitely not his type, not that he can confidently claim to know vergil's type. he has to have one, right? after all if he didn't then nero certainly wouldn't be around and he knows that nero's birth wasn't something pre-planned remembering his brother's reaction. ]
So, is that the reason for your visit today?
no subject
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he'd self-combust before he made a move on anyone.
[Vergil's type is a mystery to everyone, honestly. It doesn't stop Zulius from hitting on him. Mostly because it's funny watching the man twisting himself up in knots trying to deal with it. It's like a sport.]
A little. But mostly I wanted to see what was in this little shop he likes so much. Colour me curious, y'know? Maybe I was even gonna get myself a lil' something. As a peace offering.
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dante shifts, feet falling from the desk as he moves to stand up and walk around to the front of the desk and leans against it. ]
Better question is what isn't in this shop of his. [ weapons, art pieces, it is antique? vergil probably has it. ] My dear brother has an interest in antique items and weapons. So, if you want a shiny dagger to display at your place you've come to the right store.
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He makes a soft little eh sound, looking around.]
Hooonestly, antique weapons aren't exactly my strong suit. I do like shiny things though. He got anything with pretty stones in it or something?
no subject
Actually, [ dante pushes off the desk to move around to the back of it again, he leans down opening one of the draws before pulling out a necklace adorned with amethysts. ] How do you feel about necklaces?
no subject
The necklace really does catch his eye, though. Be still his beating drag queen heart! He stares at it, stary-eyed. ]
Oooooooooooooooh, I have a lot of feelings about necklaces. That one's pretty. Just the right amount of glam, too. I have exactly the right outfit that can do with that, too. The exact one.
no subject
dante grins having clearly hit the nail right on the head, he motions for zulius to come closer with a jerk of his head and places the necklace down on the desk. ]
Come have a closer look.
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That's some nice craftmanship, too! Look at it! It's not even slightly tacky! I think it'll be perfect!
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[ it is only because it's dante that he can get away with this. and honestly? this guy gave dante quite the laugh, he doesn't seem that bad in the slightest. ]
So long as you promise to come every so often. Having you around might do my brother some good.
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What? Really? Because I can genuinely pay for it.
[He's so rich, whatever price tag Vergil had deemed to put on the lovely thing, he could pay it without breaking a sweat. But then Dante explains why it's a gift and a laugh bubbles out of him.]
I mean, I was planning on doing that regardless. I actually like your brother's company even if he's like...the grumpiest gumpus that ever grumped. [Maybe it's BECAUSE Vergil is so grouchy that he likes spending time with him. Who knows. Zulius is a creature of deep, unfathomable mystery. ] Buuuuut I'm not gonna say no to a nice bribe.
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Glad to hear it, really. He's never really been the kind of guy to go out and make friends, so having someone around that'll actually force him into social situations is good. I can't be doing all the heavy lifting on my own. [ vergil will forgive him for the necklace eventually, he is sure. ] I just like treating my friends.
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Oh man, I have noticed. Don't you worry, I'm gonna make him have so much time outside this building. [He gestures at the space they're in.] I've already scored like, one whole date with him, pretty sure I can convince him of some more.
[And aww, Dante, that's actually...kind of sweet, his smile softens, just a tad.]
Well, consider me treated. Thank you.
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[ this is news to him, news that vergil conveniently left out when he was informing his dear brother of his encounter with the zebra man. he's almost mad, almost, settling on something in between disbelief and surprise. ]
I don't know what sorcery you used but keep on doing it, he needs to get out more often.
[ dante then settles back down on the chair at the desk, leaning back looking as proud as a cat who just caught a bird. ]
You're welcome.
no subject
[He basically conned the poor guy into it, but Zulius is still counting it as a legit date. He grins, amused.]
I don't know either, obviously he likes my natural charm. And don't worry, I plan to.
[Operation: Stop Vergil Being A Complete Shut In is a go. He puts the necklace on, posing with a grin.]
What do you think?