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yeah that's what i was thinking too but idk man
she seemed REALLY fucking mad and i'm pretty sure she would've killed him
without regret even which is almost a little more terrifying if they're ‘friends’ as it were
but no nobody should have to have that kinda weight on their shoulders

[good thing he's just re-upped his supply of vodka, then.]

then you should do that if you haven't already
also: eat bananas!! the vitamin k in them will help
i've also got aloe vera gel you could rub on the bruises for extra relief [maybe klaus was doing everything possible to ignore the fact dante's just said he enjoys his company, but if he doesn't acknowledge it, what kind of asshole does that make him?]

didn't know you were such a flatterer dante
vodka's the stiffest i got but there are leftover edibles if you're alright with those

yeah
she might just need some time to blow off steam and stop thinking with her murder brain
with any luck they can sort it out without beating anyone into paste

[ He hopes. ]

and miss the opportunity to hang with one of my favorite people in asgard? perish the thought
besides i'm used to pain
bruises like this have nothing on a sword through the chest [ Dante don't just say shit like that so casually. ]

that's me, a natural debonair
why the hell not

more than likely
feels like if i hold my breath for that i'll turn blue tho so maybe??
a mediator wouldn't be the worst idea

[hoping is one thing, being prepared for more fallout is another.]

oh my god dante please [s t o p, you'll make him blush— except not really. (or so he'd think?)] i already like you ok? don't gotta butter me up so much
me too but that doesn't mean it still won't hurt
can't say i know what THAT kinda pain feels like
what the actual fucking hell man???

charming the pants right offa me lemme tell ya
fair warning: they're goddamn strong
like might put you on your ass for longer than expected strong

give it time?????
maybe broach the subject in a week or so??

[ Yeah, he's done with trying to figure out this mess. For the moment at least. ]

it's the truth
well there is a few things you don't know about me
namely that my profession has the habit of getting my impaled
a lot

klaus the way you're saying this makes it feel like a challenge
besides i'm more than happy to spend my entire day on my ass

a week sounds like a good solid amount of time to wait

[and some odd days, maybe? just in case gaige is still ablaze instead of smoldering.]

appreciate the honesty hot stuff
it's alright there are some things you don't know about me too
if i had to take a stab in the dark i'd say it's safe to say you aren't human?
or have some hella resilience if you keep getting shiskebabed

take it however you like i'm just telling you they're good
and hey if you haven't got any plans then grace me with your company for a few hours

how about i tell you all about it over a stiff drink and some edibles
because i sure as hell don't have any plans right now and would be honored to grace you with my company
we can share stories and i could get some of that aloe vera you mentioned before

sounds like a bitchin plan to me man
walk your happy ass over to my place while i get everything set up and ready to go
then we'll do that and i'll get you aloe and uh
do you like cookies or brownies better?

times like this makes me miss my demonic motorcycle [ Well it's his until Trish takes it from him. ]
you're the best klaus really
uh... i like both but why don't we go brownies

walking is kind of a bitch sometimes... demonic motorcylce tho?? i'm listening [let trish have whatever she wants, tbh.]

and it's no big deal! but again i appreciate the praise
okay then brownies it is 8) i'll find you a good one

i'll tell you when i get there ;)

once again, i must reiterate that you're the best
and no i won't stop praising you definitely not when it's deserved
i'll be there soon

ooo even better! sweet idle chatter while we bake

[ha...haha... that was a shitty joke, but he's not sorry.]

seriously dante you are gonna make me blush
and then i'll have to punch you because i don't think i've done that since i was like twelve
alrighty then see you soon

maybe that's been my plan all along ;)

[ Soon comes quick enough, three sharp knocks heralding his arrival. For once the devil hunter is without his signature red coat, choosing instead a black shirt he may or may not have stolen from Vergil before leaving. What? They're the same size and he hasn't gotten around to mending his own clothes yet. Sewing isn't one of his strong suits.

But yeah, hey Klaus your visitor is here. ]

[he leaves the text message as is, even if it does have him wondering: why the hell would dante want to make him blush of all things?

and thankfully, klaus just so happens to be downstairs already whenever the knocks rap against the door. quicker than he'd been expecting, that's for sure, but he hurries to answer anyway, tossing the door open with a flourish and a smile.] Heyyy, Dante! Nice shirt, [he compliments. weird to not see the trademark red coat, however.

klaus's wearing his usual leather and lace-up pants, though he's forgone any other skin-revealing things for an oversized, fuzzy quadri-colored sweater instead.] Come on in, I'm just finishing getting shit together.

[ Because he's terrible and it's amusing and he'll latch onto any distraction he can get at the moment ─ not that Dante will be admitting any of that out loud anytime soon.

He's all smiles when Klaus opens the door, looking him over with a quick sweep. ] Thanks, it's Vergil's. [ He walks in only to turn around on his heels, fingers pointed towards Klaus. ] Nice sweater by the way, pastels look good on you.

[ Though he has a feeling there isn't much that wouldn't look good on Klaus, considering how well the man tends to dress. Dante turns again, another quick spin on his heels, and glances around whistling. ]

Nice place too.

[uh...huh... well now, doesn't that sound familiar? even right down to the ‘not planning on admitting anything.’

his immediate response is, “wait, vergil as in ‘daddy?’” but thank the fucking lord that's not what actually comes out of his mouth.] You mean your brother, yeah? You're welcome, regardless. [and there goes dante, making fingerguns, complimenting him again. in spite of himself, klaus feels his lips curving and reaches to cup a hand around his face.

shit, it's been a while since someone's had the ability to disarm him this easily. what the actual hell?] Thanks, [he finally manages in return,] even though I can't take credit for the whole house. My other friends that live here, they helped build, too.

[you'd be surprised how ecstatic klaus'd be to hear dante likes how he dresses— before he gets derailed again though,] Want a tour or should we just get right down to business?

That's him. Tall, brooding, and deadly.

[ After giving the room a good look over Dante turns on his heels to face Klaus again, grin still planted firmly on his face. Maybe he noticed, maybe he didn't, Dante doesn't make it easy to see past that debonair exterior. ]

As undoubtedly magnificent as the rest of this place might be, you really got me interested in your brownie making abilities. [ And he might just be a little hungry at the moment. ] Besides I'm sure I'll get to see the rest of this place sooner or later.

Sounds about right, even if I've yet to experience that last one. [a beat] Yet? [let's hope he won't ever have to.

klaus's hand falls away right as dante turns back around, mouth curving higher in spite of himself and eyebrows arching with consideration. dammit, man, keep it together. it's actually not that difficult— oh, good, a distraction.] Sooner or later, yeah.

[one hand gesturing toward the staircase,] Stairway to Heaven, [then he chuckles, rolls his eyes and heads that way, pitter-pattering up the first few.] They're pretty good. Not, like, ‘knock your socks off’ good but... Definitely better than some I've made.

Hopefully you don't, I'd hate to see you get hurt.

[ The comment comes with a wink and wide grin, head cocked a little to the side just so some of his hair starts to fall across his vision. It's difficult not to laugh when Klaus gestures towards the staircase, falling in quick step behind him. ]

Every cook is his own worse critic. [ Dante takes the steps somewhat languidly. ] Who knows these might be the best brownies I've ever had, giving you illustrious 'knocked Dante's socks off' award.

I— [actually, klaus doesn't have a proper answer for that, so he goes with something entirely different instead.] Careful, Dante, I might think you're sweet on me or something.

[because making jokes and pretending like it's an obvious thing is far better than accepting that dante might actually give a shit. blessedly, there's a distraction at the top of the stairs in the form of a cat who's pacing back and forth, meowing softly once he reaches her.]

Hey, Ash. [while he bends forward and scoops the feline up, tucking her into the crook of his arm, the other hand rubbing her ears as he continues into the bedroom, casting a glance back at dante.] I mean, you're completely right about that. And if they knock your socks off, I'd say that would be a helluva compliment.

Could you blame me?

[ Joking aside, he won't lie that he gives some level of a shit. Klaus is... Well he's an interesting guy, managed to catch his attention pretty damn quickly with that whole mess with V. Good looking, charming, the sort of person Dante wouldn't at all mind hanging out with. Birds of a feather, or something?

The cat quickly catches his attention, watching Klaus pick her up and tucking her into the crook of his arm. Without prompting Dante finds himself smiling, reaching up to rub the back of his head. He can remember wanting a dog as a child, something big and loud that he could chase around the yard of their home. He never did get what he wanted, but none of them did really.

Dante looks up, catching Klaus' gaze, and grins. ]

More like an award, it's pretty had to knock my socks off.

[without missing a beat,] Not at all.

[regardless of not knowing dante long, he'd have no qualms admitting he would fight someone else for him if necessary. and let's be real, nero, vergil, and v are included as well. the whole sparda crew (assuming trish is part of it too?), honestly, but something about how he and dante clicked so easily is... hard to explain, although that might work fine. or something.

how lucky, dante's about to have some company of his own since klaus isn't quick enough at stopping her.] Shadow, no—! [as an all-black shiba inu seemingly comes bounding outta nowhere, scampering across the rug and leaping toward dante's legs.

he catches his friend's attention and smiles in return, a bit more ruefully, considering the puppy that's attacking dante's shoes like they've done her great harm.] Sorry, man, I'm still trying to break her of that.

The brownies might at least be award-winning, for whatever it's worth? The. Cost of your shoes, I guess— Shadow, quit it, oh my God. [no use, unfortunately.]

[ Any other time he would have reacted faster, not been so effectively caught off guard by the bundled of black fur scampering across the floor towards him. Dante jerks a little as she barrels towards him, switch to start attacking his shoes as though they are the biggest evil to come across the puppy's path.

Surprise fades quickly as Dante laughs, leaning down to scoop the dog up into his hands. ]

Hey, look at this little rascal. [ She's adorable, far too adorable. He glances to Klaus and just grins, shaking his head. ] It's all good. These shoes of mine have been through worse.

[ He shifts Shadow to effectively cradle her, immediately going for those good scratch spots he knows dogs definitely love. ]

Aren't you cute? Yeah you are.

[klaus's opening his mouth, readying another scolding for her, although dante stops him with the reassurance before he gets a chance. well, he might be fine with it, but others could not, so... alright, she can get away with it for now; later on though, he'll make sure she knows better.

in spite of himself, he laughs at the excited yelp she lets out whenever dante picks her up, shakes his head and heads toward his bed where everything's been set up. with the utmost care, he sets the cat down on the folded comforter, sits down next to her while reaching for the nightstand drawer.]

God, Dante, you're gonna spoil her. I can already feel it. [but the eye-roll following his remark is playful, the smile lifting his lips fond.

and shadow eats it up, of course, lapping at dante's arm wherever she can reach as he gives her those good rubs, tail wagging, feet kicking excitedly.]

She'll end up with an ego at this rate, too.

[ He continues those rubs as he heads into the room, grinning as wide as a kid might, encouraged by both the pup's reactions and the laugh from Klaus himself. He can't help it! She's adorable and that name of her's reminded him of a big cat he had to deal with some time ago─ long story, not going into it.

Despite the affection he piles upon her, once he reaches the bed Dante releases Shadow to the floor below giving her one more head scratch for good measure. ]

What can I say? I'm a sucker for cute dogs.

[ Dante straightens up, glancing over the bed and Klaus, lips curved in a fond smile. ]

Don't think she'll be the one spoiled today. Look at this, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were planning on spoiling me.

[shit, that's right, v's big-ass hellcat has the same name... well, it should prove interesting when they're both in the same room, shouting for completely different animals. not going into the whole story is fair though, they aren't here for that.

before her feet are even on the floor, shadow's already attempting to scramble out of dante's arms, just so she can whip around and start pawing at his boots again, only deterred by the final rub her head gets— then she's back at it.

he's trying really hard not to laugh, but it's so goddamn adorable, he can't stop it.] Consider yourself whipped, then. [because look at how cute she is! gods help them, they're doomed.

an absent glance is cast toward the tray where there's a couple of plated brownies then klaus shrugs his shoulders, somehow having the decency to even seem sheepish.] Hey, I treat my friends well, alright? And these are some of the best. [from the drawer comes a palm-sized, heart-shaped rose quartz with a hole in the middle, though not all the way through.]

So, you eat whatever you want of those and, long as it's okay with you, I'm going to smoke a little. I could climb out onto my balcony if you prefer?

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cw: drugs??? (holy shit if anyone else is reading this)

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